April Fools Day : Prank Job Offer From Mentel Inc. (via Jobboom)

Just received this from jobboom... pretty funny!

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(JGM) Junior General Manager
Salary: $142,009.00/year
Hours: 10am-3:00pm Any 4 days in the week (or whenever it is convenient)
Max. 25hrs/wk
Location: Montreal (or work from home)

Company:
Mentel is a Web Technology company specialized in the development of complex Web applications. We provide internet services, marketing solutions, manage and develop websites and other software applications. We are of European origin, and are the leaders in the web entertainment industry, including adult media distribution.

We are currently seeking a talented Junior General Manager who possesses a positive and professional attitude to join our team. At Mentel, innovation, creativity, thirst to learn, and good people skills are keys to personal and professional growth. We offer a flexible work environment utilizing cutting edge technologies. We also provide professional training and pay competitive salary with extensive career growth, opportunity designed for a task & result oriented, self motivated, and efficient individual.. This is a unique chance to be part of our competitive team. So, if you think work should be challenging and fun and you have a passion for technology & the web and a desire to share it with a dynamic team, then join the Mentel team!

Requirements:

- 10+ years of Geek experience
- Previous experience with web applications & IT environment
- At Least a Level 30 Wizard
- Ability to take naps under pressure
- Experience creating detailed project documentation and reporting
- Knowledge of COD4
- Good knowledge of the Software Development lifecycle (SDLC)
- Good knowledge of Video game management
- Fastest Mouse clicker and Master gaming control pad handler.

Will be Asset:

Experience with Thunderfury Knowledge and understanding of current and future Web technologies Familiarity with the following: OPP, Snoop Dogg, MySpace, HotMail/GMAIL, W.O.W., Diablo, JAVASCRIPT, HALO 1.0/2.0, AJAX, PEARL Jam, STP, NIN, Python/PERL, RUBY, webservices, W3C standards, Linux.

Education:

The successful candidate must have Completed Kindergarten in 1 of the following areas of concentration: Napping, Coloring, Jungle Gym & sinking balls, and/or A.D.D..

Job Description:

Build projects from already existing ideas while contributing to develop new onesAttend daily Massage & Relaxation seminars Maintain the philosophy of agile programming Offer solutions to improve the various processes on a regular basis Delegate your tasks to meet project deadlines and ultimately free up your time, Coordinate with the department of development so that someone can cover for you while you meet your friends at the Beach. Prepare and update follow-up diagrams on a daily basis, Work with third persons to assess possible partnerships and business opportunities Be a competition expert Define costs in order to meet profits estimates and profitability objectives so that there is enough left over for to take your friends out for dinner Supervise the set-up and the implementation of the procedures of the project via Web cam that is set-up on your iPhone Specifying market requirements for current and future products by conducting market research supported by on going visits International clients location while enjoying delicious foods & cultures Developing and implementing a company-wide go-to-market plan, working with all departments to execute.

Required Qualities & Skills:

Analytical mind, Master JEDI, Resourceful, Certified TrekkyEnthusiastic nature, Currently have or are thinking of getting a Permanent GOOGLE tattoo, Part of the HEROES fan club, Able to work independently. --- Relate easily to 'The Big Bang Theory' & 'That 70s Show', Excellent computer skills, Internet & Tech savvy, Sporadically laugh to yourself about funny scenes you saw in Family Guy & The Simpsons, Ability to work with infants at all intellectual levels.

Advantages:

Breakfast PAID, Expense Account, Company car PAID, Health Gym Membership PAID, Group insurance PAID, Flex hours, Quarterly Bonuses, Elite VIP Platinum Gold Card to all the top Bars & Restaurants in Montreal. and 8 Full weeks of PAID Vacation.
Send resume in French or English to jobs@mentel.com in .PDF or .DOC format or send via Fax 514.321-4626 Keyword Tag – Dream Job Inc.

Disclaimer: // STOP dreaming!!!! It's APRIL FOOL'S ****** If you have knowledge and aptitudes in the domain of IT, let it be programing, graphic design, photoshop experience, video editing etc. Please send your CV to jobs@mentel.com

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